This interview was janky af, let me tell you. Jerome was running late and had car troubles, so he was a bit flustered. My anxiety has been a bitch lately, and I couldn’t even articulate a question properly (which were written down). I think that’s good though. I think when conversations happen in tough moments, a little more truth seeps out, and harder realizations happen. Not that anything ground-breaking really happened, but I ended up enjoying our topics more than I thought, especially after the conversation flowed more from my script to fluid thoughts.
Me: Do you ever wonder how others perceive you?
Me: Is that a constant thing you think about?
Jerome: Not too much, no, but I’m kinda conscious of it.
Me: Are you a spiritual person?
Jerome: No, not at all.
Me: Do you think dreams mean anything?
Jerome: Yes, I just don’t know what.
Me: Do you like hearing about other people’s dreams? (I tell him my dreams constantly)
Jerome: Yeah, it’s kind of interesting. It’s amazing how many of them are similar. How many similar patterns there are.
Me: Did you have a big wedding, or more of a small ceremony?
Jerome: It was like around 100 people. Not huge, but not small.
Me: Would you do the same type of wedding if you could go back and do it again?
Jerome: Yeah actually, ours was really good because it was a pretty nice venue and it didn’t cost that much. It was surprising, but we were pretty happy with it.
Me: How involved were you in the planning?
Jerome: Pretty involved, probably more involved than most guys.
Me: Would you have been fine if your spouse had wanted a committed relationship instead of marriage?
Jerome: Yeah, I wouldn’t have cared. Would’ve been fine.
Me: Tell me about your experience with online dating, before it was popular.
Jerome: That was 2004, 2005 maybe. It was with Lavalife, and we went to see Bowling for Columbine, and it was the most awkward…like it was a fun movie to watch, but we had no interaction whatsoever. Super awkward, no chemistry, and when it was over we were like, okay, see you later. I think that was the only date that I went on, but I was like old school being in chat rooms, and would occasionally meet people. Not like a dating scenario at all, which was a little weird, but that was in my early twenties. It was kind of taboo back then, but not so strange now.
Me: What was it like? How was Lavalife set up? Similar to what we have now, where there’s profiles and you just message someone you’re interested in?
Jerome: Yup. Yeah, it was really early stages, with an algorithm. You enter in your information and filters, and it wouldn’t necessarily give you matches, but it would filter out results for you. I think that was the only one I ever tried. Plenty of Fish wasn’t really around and the other ones were paid.
Me: What was your driving factor for online dating?
Jerome: I was in a new city and I didn’t really know very many people. It was still pretty weird though, back then. You wouldn’t really talk to your friends about that fact that you were doing it, or let anyone know.
Me: Yeah. It’s crazy how it’s just a thing you do now, if you’re single.
Jerome: I was ahead of the curve. Progressive.
Me: <Laughs>. I think it’s weird now how quickly things have changed. Pretty much since smartphones became standard. Even five years ago, if you said to someone you’re online dating, they’d be like “oh, really?”.
Jerome: “Is that safe?”
Me: <Laughs> Yeah. It makes so much more sense too.
Jerome: Yeah, it’s way easier, and it lends itself to everything that’s changing. What’s easiest, what’s most efficient, the old school ways were a lot more work. There’s nothing cheesier than going to a bar and trying to meet somebody.
Me: That doesn’t really work anyways. Most of my friends who are married met their spouse through a friend’s party, or work or school. Some sort of common interaction. I think that those people got lucky though, at least the ones that stick together, because with online dating you can window shop for the right person and if you meet someone you’re not that into, you just move onto the next. Like, I don’t understand my parent’s relationship to this day.
Jerome: Did they meet through online dating too?
Me: <Laughs> Nooo. They met in this small town, where my dad grew up. My mom was new to the town, and my dad already knew all the other girls around, so she was fresh meat. But I dunno..if you only have so many choices, how does it work out that you end up being happy with that one, limited choice for 35 plus years.
Jerome: Mmhmm, yeah, and it seems like every story is like that. You break down how your parents or someone else’s parents met, and it’s some weird story that would never happen today.
Me: I think it’s a different mentality for the older generation. Maybe they are just better at compromising. Where our generation, we want a certain thing, or know what we want from our relationships, and if it’s not working out, it’s just done. Plus, it’s so easy nowadays to just move on to the next, where they didn’t really have option. I wonder if, hypothetically, my parents broke up and my Mom started online dating, if she would start taking on that same mentality as me, of being pickier.
Jerome: Yeah. They still generally have a very conservative opinion on things like sex. Not that they wouldn’t have sex before they’re married, or that sort of thing, but having sex with someone is a really huge deal to them, and then they felt they were in a really serious relationship, so they probably would only do it with maybe two or three different people until they got married, back then. Versus now, where it’s a totally different atmosphere.
*I really enjoyed this interview, and I feel like I want to interview one of my parents now, to get an idea of their opinions of the discussion*
This is my second review of Bandidas, but I wanted to revisit them, as they had recently finished their renovations/expansion. The place looks great, much more open which affects the atmosphere positively. Plus, I loved all the artwork on the walls, which is a great experience itself.
The food was really good this time. I’d have to say it was definitely better than my last visit (which wasn’t too shabby either). I had Rocky’s enchilada with salsa verde sauce and a salad. Oh, and a side of guac, obvi. Everything was good, including the sauce, and how the enchilada was baked with cheese, which was amazing. Jerome had Misty’s poblano, which he hoovered, so I’m guessing he enjoyed a fair bit. I find Bandidas to be a good break from traditional Mexican food. It’s a little more gourmet and unique, so if you’re looking for something different (that’s open early and late!) I’d recommend you hit them up. The prices are decent, and the quality of food is very good and fresh.
Menu: 5/5 (biased as I’m vegetarian, as is Bandidas)