THE INTERVIEW

Hello Mexican aficionados! This week I interviewed my first single person (weirdly enough, single people seem opposed to doing my blog, even though it’s anonymous). This particular single person is a good buddy of my Boo Boo Kitty Fuck (BBKF). He’s a tall, attractive, smart dude who is looking for his wonder woman. He’s also super complex, which made him a lot of fun to interview. Most of my interviews last about 10-12 minutes in length (I record them as audio). This one lasted TWO hours. I have enough content from Rubert, not pronounced in a french way, strictly sounding like a high quality rubber, to last for a couple parts at least. We went to Tacofino Commissary on Hastings, and got a little tipsy on their Sangria ($20 for a huge pitcher on Saturdays, hit it up). I apologize in advance, but this blog post is going to be a bit longer than usual. Even the rapid fire questions got really in-depth. Actually, I don’t even care, as it’s my blog, so I can do what I want, and this was probably my favourite interview. 

Me: Fake titties, yes or no?

Rubert: Fake? No. Definitely not. I mean, they are getting more amazing nowadays and if you consider some of the stem cell replacing fake titties, then sure! They can organically grow breast tissue, so I’m sort of down with natural fake titties. I would say that natural though, almost always makes sense to me, over fake titties. I feel like fake tits were like an 80’s thing, much like overweight asses is the epidemic of today.

Me: So if you were dating someone that had really big tits, but they were really droopy, like National Geographic style, that would be okay with you?

Rubert: Sure. Fine. Absolutely. My happiness in sex doesn’t rely solely on the shape of the woman’s breasts. I don’t know if I have a preference over one or the other. I’m not done exploring different body types. I don’t know what I like or don’t like fully yet, so I’m open minded. What I mostly just want is someone that’s reactive. Someone that feels like they’re present in the moment, and that they enjoy what they’re doing because mostly what I connect with in sex is that connection. Is that they’re enjoying themselves, and that I’m enjoying myself, and it’s a self-fulfilling cycle. Most women that I’ve been attracted to is a chemistry thing, or an emotional thing, it’s not fully a physical thing for me.

Me: Do you think you need to be married before you have kids?

Rubert: No. I mean, it doesn’t have to be that way. It would be ideal, but I mean, shit happens. It so depends on the situation. But if you’re asking if it’s a life-altering event, like it would ruin me to have a kid before marriage, no, I would deal with whatever came my way.

Me: Would you ever do a long distance relationship?

Rubert: Oooo. I don’t think I’m built for it.

Me: Have you had any bad dates so far?

Rubert: Even bad dates are good dates, and they help you grow thicker skin. That’s, I think, my biggest problem, is that dating feels really hard and personal. If I just was able to go with the flow and fake it until I make it a little bit more, I’d be further along then I am today.

Me: Do you feel comfortable doing that though? Faking it until you make it?

Rubert: I’m a nervous person but I know that I perform well in front of a crowd. Even though it takes a lot out of me, I know that it’s good. It’s something I need to do.

Me: Do you ever feel pressure from your family? For me, there was about a year, or a year and a half where I had no interest in dating at all. It probably took my parents about six months to understand that, but after they were able to comprehend where I was coming from, they were totally fine.

Rubert: I’ve always felt the pressure. It’s partly my own, and partly from my family for sure. I think my parents have been slightly confused, and at times a little nosey about, you know, how come you haven’t found someone yet. I think they know that, yeah I would like to get married, but at the same time, I’ve needed more time than maybe most to really just figure out what I want. I wasn’t going to rush it, and it’s only natural for parents to be a little concerned, but I think they understand.

Me: Yeah, I think it’s different for you because you said that’s what you wanted. My parents always knew that I never really cared if I got married or not, and I’ve never wanted children, so I think that there was never concern for me. Plus, I’ve always been happier alone if I can’t find the right person. A lot of people can’t be single, they don’t know how.

Rubert: Yeah, I’m the same way. I’ve never been able to date for dating sake. Any relationship I’ve got into casually has blown up pretty quickly. I’m just a bit too intense. At the same time, even though it’s something I want, to settle down, I’ve never wanted to rush it, I’ve always felt not quite prepared, and I’ll get there in my own time. That’s always been hard for my parents to understand. I had to sort of cut them out of my dating life, and what I was up to, just because they so often just misunderstood things, but I think at this point I finally feel a little more like I’ve crested the hill. I feel more mature, like I know myself more and I’m ready to settle down now, I just gotta meet people, which is the hard part.

Me: Yeah, I think it’s definitely harder for guys than girls. In online dating, it seems like there’s way more guys. I’ve talked to one guy friend, and he said he’d found the most success in changing his filters to find girls who had just signed up in the last week.

Rubert: Yes, new people. That’s sort of like the real estate market, I say. The good opportunities get swept up, and the ones that aren’t great opportunities stay on the market. You sort of have to look at it that way. Even your own profile! You gotta update those pics. Do some renovations. Take a couple new snapshots. Use a wide angle lens, you know.

Me: <laughs>.

Rubert: Market yourself. So many people don’t market themselves online. They do a really poor job. If you just put a little bit more effort into it, or change it up from week to week, I don’t think it’s that hard to get noticed. Online dating is a huge bonus, but you’re right, it is harder for guys. I’m a nice guy, and at times I’m a little shy and it’s hard to beat out all the other guys out there, sometimes, it seems.

Me: Do you feel that a more aggressive girl would be more suited to you?

Rubert: I think that my attraction is to somebody that is very self-sufficient. Somebody who is self-directed. Both my parents are strong entrepreneurial types, and that’s who I looked to growing up, as a model of a relationship. So I think realistically who I want and am looking for is somebody who can handle themselves very well. Who doesn’t, and I don’t want to sound like it’s a cop out, need reassurance all the time, because that’s not who my parents were. They were both extremely busy people, who occasionally found their time together, and when they were together, they got each other so well. I feel like that sets my standards pretty high, because they’re both, in my opinion, incredible people. So what do you do with that? I will say this, there are more and more women out there, running their own businesses and taking charge of their lives, who are hopefully are not too far away from me.

THE REVIEW

As mentioned above, we went to Tacofino Commissary on Hastings. It was Rubert’s idea, and I had been told by a few people to check out Tacofino, so it felt like a good idea. We started with the Sangria, which was amazing, and we were told by our awesome server that it was full of vitamin C, so we felt good about it. And we felt really good about it after 10 minutes. I ordered the beans and cheese burrito, with a huge side of guacamole on the side, and Rubert ordered the pork belly taco and the cauliflower taco. Oh. My. God. I’ve been roasted a lot lately for giving perfect reviews, but I base them off the type of service they provide. So Taco Del Mar got five out of five, but that was based on fast food Mexican, while La Casita was based on sit-down service. I feel like the service we got at Tacofino was the best service ever (I can’t remember our server’s name, but if I could I would for sure include a shout-out), and the food was soooo effin’ good. I particularly wanted to point out the service, because the place was packed, and we still got the right amount of attention, which is important to millennials. I used to work as a server for a few years, so I know how hard that is. The ambience was so cool as well. They had a really cool light installation, that had succulents right in the blown glass (see Instagram pic). I was overly impressed, and would like to visit their other locations.

Overall ratings:

Service: 5.5/5

Value: 5/5

Quality: 5/5

Menu: 5/5

Ambience: 5/5