In this post, I interviewed one of my great life-long friends, whom has named herself Lola. I told her she could pick her name, and I respect her choice. Very artsy. Lola has been married for three years and they have no children, so she brings a totally different perspective than Bo Bo, my previous victim. We’ve been friends since grade two, when I probably asked her if she’d be my friend if I gave her five bucks, which I had been known to do at that age.
As you can probably guess, I focused on marriage with this interview, as it’s an interesting topic to me. I personally know that I don’t want children, but marriage is something that I’ve flip flopped on for a long time. As always, I opened it up with some rapid-fire yes/no questions.
Me: Sexting. Are you into it?
Lola: Hell yeah! I thought you said sex swing at first, which would also have been a yes, cause I would give that a try.
Me: If you were single, would you online date?
Me: Eye contact during sex?
Lola: In the right moments, yes, but as a general rule, no.
Me: What’s the most surprising thing you’ve learned about marriage?
Lola: Hmm. That it’s harder than it looks, but it’s also easier than it looks too. People always say the first year of marriage is so hard, and you just have to get through it. Our first year was really hard, but for other external reasons, not because of us. You don’t realize how much your family and everyone affects your decisions and the way that you are together.
Me: What do you appreciate the most in a relationship?
Lola: Having someone there to do things with. Even if they aren’t that pumped about it, you can still motivate each other to just get out there. Like on days when I don’t feel like leaving the couch, sometimes my husband will want to get up and go. Also, just having them there as an option, like if your friend can’t make it out. Companionship, having a best friend who will always be there. As long as they’re into the same things you are, or at least willing to try new things.
Me: Last week I read an article that said couples only need to have sex once a week to have a happy, fulfilled relationship. Do you agree?
Lola: Yeah, I guess that’s true if maybe you’re a few years into the relationship, as minimum maintenance to keep your relationship going. I like to connect with the person I’m with a little more often than that. If you want my truthful answer, that’s only happened to us once. Otherwise, either one of us has to be sick or physically unable. Other than that, we’ve kept it pretty regular. I would say like, two to three times per week to keep the relationship healthy. But also, we don’t have kids, so we have more time on our hands.
Me: Do you find when you are at a work function or a family get together, that you get asked “when are you going to have kids” instead of “are you planning on having kids”?
Lola: Yeah, it is usually phrased as a when question, and there is a certain expectation that you’ve been married for three years, you’re in your thirties, how come you’re not doing it? When it’s a new social setting, those are the questions people go to because they are trying to find out about you, so it’s not intended to come across that way and I wouldn’t take offense to it. I would find it more offensive from people who I know really well, who know more about my life.
We went to Taqueria Jalisco on Grosvenor Road in Surrey. This place is one of my favourites. It’s kind of off the beaten path, and I’m not sure how I found out about it in the first place (I think maybe Lola told me), but the portion sizes are always amazing, the service is fast and friendly, and the prices are very good. They also provide free chips and salsa to start, and the salsa is plentiful to use in your meal as well, and super spicy! Mamma likey. For this visit I had the vegetarian burrito. They give an option of green or red salsa on top, which I always get half and half. Most of my friends like the green salsa, but I like the mix, as it is a big burrito and it’s good to mix the flavours up a bit. It was amazing, as always. Lola got the chicken enchiladas. She said they were very good, and the chicken was nice and moist, but the enchiladas could’ve used a little more sauce.